yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
