So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
