No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My dick has a subreddit
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
