i don't like sucking hair
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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