if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
