a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
