The brown eye won't let me do that either.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
