She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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