You're so nebulous sometimes
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
OPIZZABONMYDICK
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
