Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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