she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Then you guys just all showered together...?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
