Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
