I smell stomach acid.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
