I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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