she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
