don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
