thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
