Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
