I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There r osticjed everywhere
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
