I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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