god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
