The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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