She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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