FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
