I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
