Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
