I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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