A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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