I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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