Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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