Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
