walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
