You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
