Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
