Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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