I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
