Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
then he tried to convert me to islam
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
