suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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