Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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