i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
