If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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