My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
