thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
