Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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