...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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