Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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