Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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