He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
