I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
