i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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