uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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