yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
