No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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