How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize
