Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
